"The Mind While Ill"—a ran-dumb poem by yours truly

I was hoping to save this post for a day when I was sick, but seeing as I have no other finished draft posts and I am in desperate need to post something, I'll have to post it now. Anyways, I wrote (well, scribbled) this poem down while sitting in my room suffering from a head cold. It's all in good fun and meant to be funny, obviously, so enjoy!

The Mind While Ill
(previously "Scribblings from the Blur of Fever")

There is no hope in this place.

Only pain.

Suffering.

The hole that is my heart longs

for the fair face of freedom.

No one can feel my pain.

No one.

Many times have I wrought the fabrics of time

wishing, hoping, living, wanting...

Only to see that it is all in vain.

All in vain.

Past times haunt me like those of a millennium of days.

But they are all just disillusioned pastimes

for my fragrantly beating heart.

Time flies by unchecked as I squander.

Everything I do becomes nothing.

Nothing, says I.

It is all an illusion,

broken apart like the thousands of miles

before a long trip

Or the aroma of faint salami 

floating on the breeze as the hot dogs grill on the fire.

How long, says I?

How long shall my life be that of one who is ill?

One who is sick?

One whose head is pounding into the ceiling...

Or at least that’s what I assume

Through the blurb of fever.

Many more times shall I fail to amuse

to laugh

to smile

to live....

But once more shall I say

that all things are illusions.

Brought on by the fever of life.

When someone brings you a cupcake,

and you find yourself eating it,

even though you are daftly allergic to the said confectionary treat

you will remember these words

that pour so freely from my swollen lips.

You will remember and never forget.

Faintly, I reveal to you

the seams of my burning mind.

For these words,

these precious last words,

they come like pigeons to roost,

or chickens to feed

or angry ducklings to the bread crumbs

spilled out by the frail old hand of wisdom

that is my granny.

How long shall I write this futile poem?

It may be decades before I cease.

But know this, young reader.

I am very ill

with a painful sinus cold

brought to me by my dear loving brother.

I should thank him for ending my youthful spree.

Slice, he does. Slice it down.

In it’s prime, it was destroyed.

Like so many things in life.

Like the cake on a birthday party.

Or the dreams of disco dancing for one who has no rhythm.

Or the raps of foolish men who have nothing better to do than

brag into a microphone with drums pounding in their ears.

It is so strange why someone would want to do that.

But I digress.

Even as my mind wanders for perhaps the final time

I wonder...

Why?

Why is there so much turmoil in my nostrils?

Mucus runs as if they were have a mucus Olympic race.

Down my throat. Out my nose.

Throbbing in the cavities that are my sinuses.

How dreadful.

“You should have ended this poem two stanzas ago”, you may say.

But should I have?

Really?

Or are you enjoying the pain of my sickness?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Perhaps not. Or perhaps so!

For illness is nothing but horror.

Sleepless nights.

Painful extremities.

Medication.

DEATH.

Here I go. Falling...once more, do I fall...

Into the slumber of one who is but a breath away from demise.

So long, says I, for the last time.

Finally...

Finally!

I rest.

PIANOTHON 2014

Art copyright Anastasia Cross

"Music can change the world."

Saturday, March 8, 2014, is the date of this year's Joel Pace PIANOTHON!!!

PIANOTHON will take place at:

Northside Presbyterian Church
1901 Leonid Road
Jacksonville, FL  32218



This year is sure to be a blast! Some of the fun things lined up for the event:

• Piano/vocal/clarinet/flute performances from all ages of Joel Pace's students
• FOOD!!!
• Book signings by Anastasia Cross (that's me), author of The Cycle of Time: The Journey and Olivia Taylor, author of The Road Back to Esrever
• X-Box 360 raffle giveaway
• The anticipated appearance of Hot Dog Man and El Macho Nacho Man
• Balloon creations by Hayden
• All proceeds will go to Northside Christian Service Center Food Pantry
• The opportunity to donate to multiple Jacksonville charities

IMPORTANT INFORMATION:

• Bring canned food or money as admission to PIANOTHON (proceeds go to charity)
• Date: Saturday, March 8, 2014
• Place: 

Northside Presbyterian Church
1901 Leonid Road
Jacksonville, FL  32218

So excited about this year's PIANOTHON! I am scheduled to sing a few pieces (if I can get over this nasty cold by then...I will be so upset if I'm not) and I will be signing copies of my novel, The Cycle of Time: The Journey. As of today, this is the only opportunity to get a copy of my novel. Though I am revising it fervently for a competition in Florida, and will probably publish it again after I am through giving it a final polishing. So if you want to wait for the revised edition, go ahead! :)

I can't help but give you a sneak peek of this: Me and my sister and best friend will be preforming a parody of "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" and "Let it Go" from the hit movie Disney's Frozen! It will be encouraging the buying of snacks and the donating of money to the NCSC food pantry. Also, the first appearance of the legendary Hot Dog Man and El Macho Nacho Man will be held at PIANOTHON 2014. You do not want to miss this.

Have a great week, meanwhile!

In which I planned out a whole novel in one afternoon on six pages.

novel planning...

Get this!

Today I spent all day mapping out a six-page story plan for last year's NaNoWriMo book!

I don't know how it happened...it just like...I sat down, and got my brain out, and said, "Ana, you are going to plan this book out if it's the last thing you do. Understand?"

"yes me."

"Good. Now. Go do it."

So I sat there and scribbled down a very basic storyline for my entire novel. In six pages. In one afternoon. Now it's over and I don't even have to worry about outlining anymore. :')

I think I'm gonna cry...

I wish I could say that I used some new planning/outlining technique, and tell you my masterful and genius way of planning books, but it just didn't happen that way. I sat down and wrote what came to my mind. But I do have a bit of a technique when it comes to planning novels...but rarely do I do it in an afternoon.

(This is all written assuming you have a basic story idea in mind.)

1. Character Profiles
The first thing I do when planning a novel is write out character profiles. At first, I usually don't get too deep, and only do the profiles of the people I'm either sure or pretty sure are going to stay. To make a character profile, I just make a form asking questions like

• Name (full name)
• Age
• Race
• Basic appearance
• Basic personality traits
• Some history, family members, or special skills
• Any weaknesses or fears that come to mind

This is my foolproof character profile. I always learn stuff about my character while filling these out for the first time.

2. Story Idea Scribble Page

This is where you take a page and throw up any idea that you find appealing on there. One of my post-apocalyptic story scribble pages reads as follows:

• apocalypse happens during book
• NO GOVERNMENT BADDIES I do that too much...
• Terrorists?
• some sort of dangerous "game" baddies put them through
• adopted kids in a family
• parents are captured
• travel the world
• maybe aliens?

As you can see this follows a slight pattern, keeping to my basic theme of post-apocalypse, but I am throwing random ideas out that don't really connect. That's okay. This is the time for creating, not planning. You just want to get some inspiration. If you have a scene in your head between two characters, write it on the list. It doesn't matter if it doesn't get in the book.

3. Plan Chapters/Plan Story

I let stuff simmer in my head a while before I start to plan my novels. Sometimes I like to free write a bit just to get a feel of what my story will be like. Either way, when I feel ready to start really planning, I do it chapter by chapter. Some people like to write one or two sentences describing basically what happens in that chapter, and some people like to write every little detail down. I like to think I'm somewhere in-between. My chapter plannings go something like this:

Bob goes to school / gets beat up by bully / bathroom / meets bf / convinces him to gang up on bully / runs into sandra instead and talks

etc.

You get the idea. I just scribble down whatever comes to my head. Think of it like making a skeleton of your story, and then filling in the flesh with the actual writing. This makes outlining mandatory for the structure of your novel.

Today, though, I admit I went a different route than my usual plan-by-chapter adventure (mainly because though effective, that tactic takes a REALLY LOOONG TIME). Today, I sat down and just wrote out my whole storyline a bit like I did with my chapter thing, except obviously not as detailed.

Bob goes to the store. Steals something. Gets arrested. Goes to jail; is bailed out by Jessie. Jessie takes him to her house and feeds him rotten stinky awful dinner. He gets food poisoning and goes to hospital where meets Gabby the nurse. etc.

Something like that. Just very fast and keeping it tight and only the big events on the page. The rest I will fill in with the actual writing.

So, I hope this little blurby post about outlining helps you in some way. If you have any questions, please comment and I will always reply.

Thanks for reading!

Characterization: Part II

So, if you've read the last Characterization post, you've got your character's appearance under your belt!
You know what he looks like, what he likes to wear, his quirks, and his bad habits. Now, it's time to tackle his personality.

Personality (obviously) plays an important part in your story. If you are creating your main character, you definitely want to think about some traits that you would find interesting to write about. i.e., if you find sarcastic, smart people intriguing, I would aim for that type of person. Or if you like writing funny things but you're going to try and tackle a bigger project like a serious novel, you might want to consider making your main character a bit of a goofball.

I made the mistake of creating characters that I didn't "connect" with back in the day. I always made my characters inhibit personalities that I found extremely boring, so that writing about them/in their point of view was extremely hard and uninteresting to me. DON'T MAKE THIS MISTAKE. It's so much easier when you love your character to death!


1. What is your character like?

This is the big question. What's your character like? What does he act like? How does he interact with others? Sometimes your character will sort of inhibit a personality of his own as you create him, which is great! Saves you some trouble. But other times after you decide what your character looks like, he sort of stays limp and hollow. That's when you really have to dig deep to figure out what you want your hero to be like. If you're the type to just "go with the flow" and see what kind of personality your hero takes on his own, try some of these characterization exercises:

• Have a short interview with your hero. Ask him open questions like, "What's your family like?" "What are you friends like?" "Do you like chocolate or vanilla ice cream?" and sort of prod him to go off on a rant. It'll really help develop speech style and personality.
• Read a magazine or newspaper article and put your character in the situation described. How would he react?
• Write some random scenes with your character, from first day of school to being mugged by thugs. Go crazy.

If you are more of a "figure it out myself" type, there are other options. There are so many personality types and character traits out there, you couldn't possibly sit and write them all down. Still, I've found several sheets of common character traits that are great reference and inspiration. Some common traits just to give you an idea:

• cheerful
• friendly
• quiet
• somber
• serious
• glum
• kind
• compassionate
• responsible
• fiery
• stubborn

Another note to take is that you want to make sure that your characters have both positive and negative qualities.

2. What motivates your character?

Now this could or could not apply directly to the story. Of course, you want at least one of your character's motivations to drive the story, but there can be other side notes to take into account, as well. For starters, choose one motivation that pushes the hero into the story. Example, say your character's family is kidnapped. Something that motivates your character could be his love for his family, or revenge. With this in mind, choose one big motivation to keep at the front of your head while planning your story out.

3. What does your character fear?

If you are creating your hero, I would suggest making his fear something that the villain embodies. This can be a little challenging to figure out, but I wouldn't freak out too badly. Sometimes stuff like this just falls into place while you're writing, and you never want to "overplan" anything. So, this being said, stop for a moment and think about your main character and your villain. Try to come up with something the villain symbolizes that the hero fears.

On the easy side, characters also have many different, often irrational, fears. I have a character who is claustrophobic, another who is afraid of hospitals, one who fears power, and one who fears death. These are all very believable fears, and easy to work into story lines (to ahem torture your characters ahem ahem). Here are some more common fears:

• needles
• the dark
• bugs
• the dentist
• himself/herself
• a particular person
• loneliness
• crowds
• knives

Small fears like these will help flesh out your character and put some meat on his bones. Plus, it's fun to make your character have these unique little quirks!

4. Flaws

This might be the most important part of a character. Every character must have flaws, or they will come across and un-relatable and everyone will hate them. Like, Disney princesses of old? Cinderella, Aurora, Snow White? I cannot think of a flaw that they have. And I don't like any one of them. Sure, they had bad situations, but they were always smiling, always perfect, always had a good attitude.

Don't be afraid to make your character imperfect. Imperfection is what makes humankind beautiful and sympathetic. We want to see characters with flaws like our own, and we want to see them overcome these flaws, so we have hope that perhaps we can overcome our own negativities. If you do nothing else, create some experimental flaws for your hero and see which ones stick.

I hope this series is helping you get a better grip on your characters. I'm actually discovering some things myself! If you have any questions on creating characters, I humbly consider myself somewhat of an expert. ;) Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, and I will always answer!

Disclaimer

OVER-CHARACTERIZING

While it's great to get to know your character before you start writing, don't get so wrapped up in him that you can't stop developing him and get bored prematurely. It's also good to discover some things about your character as you write; it's just part of the development of your hero. And keep in mind that come things about your character will end up just not working out. Sometimes my characters rebel against their given personalities altogether, and that's fine, as long as it doesn't interfere with your storyline. If it does, then they might need a little punishment. But beware of Character Limpage when forcing characters to do your will!

Characterization: Part I

This is part one of a who-knows-how-long blog post series (I'm gonna guess 2-4 posts) on characterization. What is characterization? Well, you can probably guess by the word that it involves characters in some way or another, right?

Characterization is defined in my computer's built-in-dictionary as describe the distinctive nature or features of something or someone, or (of a feature or quality) be typical or characteristic of. So, cutting all the fluff, characterization is creating characters or, in Anacabulary, "creating believable, lovable, unique characters that you and your readers will care for and root for from the very beginning to the dastardly end of your novel."

On that note, we begin.


Characterization: The Beginning

So you wanna write a book, but are uneasy at the daunting tasks before you? Fear not, dear one! The story-planning prospect is not much harder than using up some of that dormant Brain Power. The first steps to planning and writing a novel are some of the most fun steps of all!

My favorite part of writing a novel is creating characters. There's magic that goes on there. As you create your character(s), you will find that some characteristics and features just seem to pop out of your mind and onto the page. That's good! That's your character "coming to life".

To start off characterization, we are going to start off with the simplest (but sometimes challenging) part of creating your heroes and heroines.

Note: I strongly suggest you have at least an inkling of your story's setting, a very basic plot line, and an idea of where you want your story to go, it is not necessarily necessary. I've created random characters in my head for no reason, and sometimes stories "create themselves" around these characters. But I strongly suggest you have at least a small idea of a story for your characters, so you know how old and how many main characters you want.


1. How old is your character?

This is a very important question. How old you make your character will greatly impact his personality, character traits, and your story's tone.

• If you are a young writer say, around 10-13, I'd stick with characters around your age. Teenagers are a lot different from tweens, and you might have a little trouble creating characters who are believable; but if you feel like you can handle it, on the other hand, go for it!
• Teenagers, age 14-18, it's most fun, in my opinion, to write about teenagers our age! Teen fiction is popular right now anyways, so go crazy! Teens can be both immature and mature, so there's a lot of age differences to take into account. You can have a 20-year-old who acts like he's 16 and it be believable. Same way, you can get away with a 15-year-old who is matured enough to act about 18.

2. What does he look like?

So, what does your character look like? What color are his eyes? How skinny or fat or muscular is he? There's a lot to take into account when fleshing out your character. To get started, here's some fill-in-the-blanks to get your creative juices flowing:

• Where is he from, and does this affect his looks? (i.e. if he is from africa, does he have dark skin? Full lips? Black eyes?)
• What color hair does he have?
• What color are his eyes?
• What shape are his eyes? Almond? Round? Slanted?
• What color is his skin?
• What face shape does he have? Pointed chin? High cheekbones? Square jaw?
• Does he have freckles? Birthmarks? A mole on his neck?
• Does he have bushy eyebrows, or long eyelashes? A 13-year-old's mustache?
• How tall is he?
• How much does he weigh?
• What is his body like? Is he all curves or jagged lines? Straight or stooped?

And while it's lots of fun to make characters who are perfect and handsome and beautiful, it's often better to create characters with at least some physical flaw. Sure, your character can be handsome, but maybe he has acne on his forehead. She can be beautiful, but maybe she has a head of real frizzy hair that she barely keeps under control. I mean, it's no fun if you make them totally perfect. ;)

3. What are some of his quirks?

Everyone has quirks. Wether it's biting your nails, chewing your hair, twitching your left index finger when you talk, or licking your nose when thinking, you probably have something, most likely a few things, that make you unique. So, what are some of your characters? Here are some good questions to consider:

• How does he talk? Does he have an accent? Does his voice pitch up when he's scared? Or maybe he's monotone?
• Does he have any bad habits, like staying up late, picking his nails, or scratching scabs off?
• Does he have any quirks, like eating too much, being a morning person, driving fast, or reading when he's nervous?

There are an endless amount of things to make your character special; observe the people around you to get some good ideas.

For some references and good ideas for character development, visit my Character Reference board on my Pinterest page, www.pinterest.com/anastasiacross/

Disclaimer:

OVER-CHARACTERIZING

While it's great to get to know your character before you start writing, don't get so wrapped up in him that you can't stop thinking about him. It's also good to discover some things about your character as you write; it's part of the development of your hero. And keep in mind that some things about your character will end up just not working out. Sometimes my characters rebel against their given personalities altogether, and that's fine, as long as it doesn't interfere with your storyline. Then, they just might need a little punishment. But beware of Character Limpage when forcing characters to do your will!

Keep in touch for Part II of the Characterization post series!