There is a little person in the mind that I think we all know quite well. Some call it their "inner editor." I have decided to now call it "the mean little leprechaun* who won't stop making me use action verbs, put a comma there, and never, EVER use 'was.'" (MLLWWSMMUAVPCTNEUW for short). You see, this little leprechaun is constantly bugging you to dot your i's, cross your t's, and telling you your book stinks because your grammar resembles that of a water buffalo's.
As I sit here, attempting to at least complete a page of prose in The Cycle of Time: The Sentinels, I find myself wondering, "Should I put a comma there? Does that sentence sound awkward? Oh, man, I used was again!" Thus hindering the writing process a great deal. Are you following me here?
It doesn't matter what you do. That MLLWWSMMUAVPCTNEUW will always be there. He is out to get your book (or essay, or paper, or random spout of words on a page). You can tell him to take a hike (I have) and he will start making excuses about having no M&M's trail mix so he can't really take a hike, now can he? When all you really want to do is sit down for an hour and WRITE without his constant bugging.
Well, I'm here to officially destroy him (in a figurative sense of not actually destroying him, but throwing him out the trash chute of your ears).
As writers, our job is to get on the page what is stuck in our heads as fast as possible before the idea grows wings and flies right out of your ear. You can't really do that if you're constantly worrying about your grammar, can you? No. You can't. Now, don't get me wrong, I like grammar a great deal. In fact, I plan on studying it a good bit when I reach college age. But I don't like grammar getting in the way of my writing.
I am a busy person. I don't have time to write all the time, between school, chores, siblings, and a host of other projects. So I kinda want that leprechaun to find a new mind-apartment to rent out, don't you?
So, here's my plan†. Ultimately, we will find a way to get this editor out. And here's how.
By thinking up a ninja warrior right now, a mental ninja will appear in your brain, where it will fight the leprechaun. Then, when you truly believe in unicorns, it will also channel into your brain, because those leprechauns are mean little dudes and your ninja might need some backup. Finally, you press the big red button on your computer that you've been warned by techies all over the world not to press (you do have a big red button on your computer, don't you?), and it will blow up that leprechaun's apartment complex. Last but not least, you go over to the trash can, shake your head really hard, and all of the leprechaun and his many dictionaries, thesauruses, grammar books, and big red pens will fall right in.
So, go ahead and test out this theory. Go on, don't be shy, you know you want to. So what if people think you're weird? We writers already spend hours staring at blank pages while we hyperventilate!
So, did you try it? I did. And I think it worked pretty well. It worked for you, didn't it? It did? Yes! We have discovered the true way to get rid of our inner editors!
Well? What are you waiting for?! Get out there and write before he comes back and you have to start all over again!
~Anastasia
P.S. The only reason this is so long and rambly is because I'm procrastinating from writing The Sentinels. I know, pretty sad, right?
*: "Why a leprechaun?" you may ask. If you've ever gotten to the end of a rainbow and tried to haggle a pot of gold from those little jerks, you'd know why.
†: This plan holds no guarantees, other than the fact that it's so ridiculous it just might work.
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